Unplugged

I can imagine there are tons of blogs, posts, etc. out there about how we are all too connected to our electronic devices and how we should put down our smart phones and spend time doing other things. Well, I was without my phone for less than 24 hours last week, and I never want to do that again!

Thursday night, my phone (which barely holds a charge these days) was about to die, so I turned it off. When I went in to bed and tried to plug it into the charger, nothing happened. I tried a 2nd charger and then a 3rd and still nothing. I even went outside to my car and tried that charger. I panicked. How can I not have a phone? But at 10:00 at night, there was nothing I could do. In the morning, I tried them all again and realized that I was going to be phoneless until I could get to the store which wouldn't be for hours. I felt like I was missing an appendage. Which is actually pretty accurate. Here is how my day went...


When I woke up to feed Chase in the middle of the night, I watched tv instead of browsing Facebook.
In the morning when Kevin asked me what the weather was going to be like, I just stared at him. He turned on The Weather Channel.
I went on Facebook and posted about my mini-tragedy. Because I'm very important and I knew tons of people would be looking for me. My mom got sent a private message to reach me on Kevin's phone since we were meeting up that morning.
As we got ready for Cole's school Halloween concert, I had to keep looking at a clock to know when we had to leave.
At the concert, I couldn't take any pictures. I also made an effort not to get separated from my family, because then I would never find them.
Friday afternoon, I had errands to run, including going to Verizon, although that was last on my list. Food shopping was tough without my calculator. My mind isn't equipped for math.
Our car had to be jumped in the morning, so the clock hadn't been reset, and I had no way of knowing the correct time to reset it. And since I was meeting up with someone at 2:00, I had to keep asking strangers for the time. I would imagine no one asks anyone else for the time anymore.
Several times when I was out, I thought about a question or something I had to tell someone. I started making mental notes to reach out to them later.

It was about 3:00 in the afternoon when the tech/savior at Verizon got my phone back on. My phone was teeming with notifications. In any given day, I realize that I use my phone not just for calling and texting, but for email, weather, calculator, phone, GPS, looking up information, social media, recipes and a clock. So as sarcastic as some of this may be, right or wrong, I don't know what I would do without that little electronic revelation. And I will not be voluntarily unplugging again anytime soon.

No Regrets

Every time I do any kind of exercise with my husband, he reminds me that no one ever regretted a workout. Sometimes, my sore muscles would beg to differ, but he's absolutely right. It does make me feel better. That being said, I don't like working out. There really isn't any kind of exercise that I find appealing. If given the choice, I would much rather curl up in front of the tv or with a book. But as with most people, the older I get, the more important it is to stay active in order to be healthy. So when Kevin asks me to jump rope with him or go for a walk, I find myself making less excuses than I used to do.

Chores

I hate chores. I know that at my age I shouldn't call them chores but that’s what they are. Cleaning, organizing, putting away, straightening up… any of it. I don’t find it fun. My mother finds cleaning cathartic, but unfortunately, I did not inherit this gene. I hope that my kids did, so I don’t have a son or daughter-in-law mad at me in 30 years, but in case they didn't, I thought I should give them a little push in the right direction.

We try to be consistent with them in picking up their toys, putting their dirty clothes in the hamper and dirty dishes in the sink, that type of thing. But Cole recently started two very important chores- taking care of a plant and a hermit crab. While on a school trip to a farm, each child was given a watermelon plant to take home. And on a recent trip down the shore, Cole was able to get a hermit crab like he does each time we go. (This time he got one with a soccer ball painted shell and named him Soccer Player. Very creative. Haha.) So every afternoon, he checks on Soccer Player’s food and water supply and then he checks the moisture of his plant.

Cole gets to learn about responsibility and Mommy gets to daydream about the day the kids are old enough to scrub toilets. It's a win-win!

Difficult Conversations

I love so much of what it means to be a mom. But there are certainly things that I would rather not deal with at all. Sleepless nights, runny noses, talking back... and difficult conversations. I don't know any parent who looks forward to discussing things like the birds and the bees or death and dying. So when one of the teachers at Cole's preschool suddenly and sadly passed away last month, I braced myself for questions. But they never came. I knew that the school was going to explain things to the kids, and I was grateful that whatever Cole was told was enough that he never brought it up to me. Until the other night.

We were eating dinner and discussing how people are related which is a current area of interest to my 4 year old. We established that Chase is my son and not my brother or my husband and that Chloe is my daughter because she is a little girl. Then the conversation went like this:

C- Grandmom is your mommy?
M- Yes. Just like you and Chloe and Chase all grew inside Mommy's belly, I grew inside of Gram's.
C- (Laughs.) That's so crazy! And who is Grandmom's mommy?
M- She was my grandmom who you never met. She lives in heaven.
C- She died?
(This is where I was thrown. I didn't even know he really knew that word.)
M- Yes, she did. How do you know that?
C- That's what happened to Miss Carol. (Break my heart.)
M- They told you that at school?
C- Yes. Is heaven far away?
M- Yes, it is.
C- Do you have to drive there?
M- (Hmm, how to explain this.) It's really far. You have to fly.
C- You're just kidding, right?
M- No, you do. You have to fly because it's so far.
C- Oh. Okay.

Satisfied for the time being, Cole went back to eating and Mommy picked her heart up off the floor and breathed a big, although probably temporary, sigh of relief.

Another Baby Story

The arrival of our newest bundle of joy is a story that could be taken from a movie, and I don’t want to forget the details, so here it is.

On February 17^th, at 3:00 in the afternoon, I was at work and started to feel some contractions. They lasted about an hour, and I told my husband, who was in Charlotte for his every other week business trip, to be on standby. But after an hour, the contractions stopped, and I continued to work. I finished up some things and went home early (by the request of my boss). I was tired but with no contractions for several hours, I had an uneventful night with my kids.

At 1:00 am, I woke up in active labor. I wasn’t sure at first, but the contractions were strong and after I started timing them and realized they were coming every 3 minutes, I knew this was the real thing. I called my mom, who was at work, and she told me to call the doctor, which I did, and I was told to come to the hospital. I tried Kevin but got his voicemail. I tried not to panic as I called his mom to come be with my kids and took a shower. At this point, I still hadn’t reached Kevin, now it was snowing, and my contractions were getting worse, and I tried to hold back the tears. I called the hotel, and they said that their computers were down and told me to call back in 10-15 minutes. Sure, no rush. My mom left the hospital and was at my house within 30 minutes. She then called Kevin’s hotel and insisted they go to wake him. When they finally did, he called and asked if the baby was coming and if I could wait until he could get home. I knew this baby was coming whether or not we were ready, so I told him to do what he could.

The ride to the hospital was scary as the snow was really coming down, and I was having strong contractions as we slid down every road. My mom took me into the ER to be taken upstairs, as she parked the car. They made 3 calls before the slowest woman in the world came to get me. (Another person in no rush.) Upstairs, I was hooked up to the monitors and checked, and it was confirmed that I was definitely in labor and would have the baby some time that day. I was happy that my doctor was on call but getting increasingly nervous that my husband wasn’t going to make it.

Meanwhile, in Charlotte, Kevin booked the first flight home which was scheduled for 7:25. He got to the airport so early that security wasn’t even open yet. We talked via Facetime at 5am, and it was the only time I’ve ever heard an airport so quiet. Seeing his face sent me into tears (again) as he sat helpless at the terminal, wanting to be with me as much as I wanted him there.

My labor was progressing slowly (coming in at 4 cm and only getting to 5-6 in the first few hours), but I was thankful for the time as I awaited Kevin’s arrival. The story of the husband stuck in Charlotte spread quickly to the staff, and although everyone tried to be supportive by telling me I could do it on my own, I was sad and nervous and praying that we could hold out long enough. As I lay in bed and listened to the monitors, I noticed that the baby’s heart rate sounded slow whenever I had a contraction. After checking on me, the resident doctor decided that the cord was wrapped or caught somewhere, and they performed an amnio infusion to correct the problem. Talk of a c-section worried me, and I hoped that we wouldn’t get to that point.

My doctor was scheduled to be off at 8am, and we were approaching that point, but after the relationship that she and I have built over the past 5 years, she decided to stay and see me through this delivery. I will always be grateful to her for that. She had a conference call scheduled for 8:30, but I knew that Kevin was going to land around 9 and could be at the hospital by 9:30, so she pushed back her call, and said we would make it work. The infusion helped, and the baby was doing great, so my doctor checked me around 8am and found that I was completely dilated. I begged to wait as long as possible for Kevin. However, looking at my mom’s face, I knew something was wrong. Kevin’s flight hadn’t taken off and he didn’t know when it would. I was devastated. It didn’t look like he would make it in time, and there was nothing we could do. I called him, and we cried together over the phone. I told him that the baby and I couldn’t wait any longer. Both of our hearts were hurting. He told me that he bought a WiFi plan and if they made it to 10,000 feet by the time, he would be able to FaceTime us during the birth. Everyone on the plane, like everyone at the hospital, knew our story, after Kevin cried to the flight attendant, and told the crew that if they didn’t take off soon, they would have to open the doors and let him off the plane.

Since we knew Kevin wasn’t going to make it, my sister arranged for a neighbor to watch her kids, so she could be with me. As she raced to the hospital in the snow, and ran from the parking garage into the hospital and up to my room, she kept my mom posted. It was nearing 9am, and I knew we couldn’t wait much longer for her. She came into the room at 8:55, and I started pushing at 8:56. Our son was born 8 minutes later, at 9:04 am. Kevin’s flight had finally taken off, but the connection was bad and all we saw were frozen pictures of each other. When I held my son for the first time, I cried tears of happiness over meeting him, but also sad tears from missing his father.

It was important to have Kevin meet his son before sharing any details. I didn’t tell my mom or sister the baby’s name, and no one outside of that hospital room even knew the baby was born. Kevin landed about half an hour after the birth, sprinted through the airport and didn’t even go to get his car, opting to take a taxi from the airport. He told me later that the driver got out to clean off his windshield and another driver shouted at him to get this man, whose wife is in labor, to the hospital. I can only imagine that scene.

Around 10:15, we heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall, and Kevin burst into the room. His face was red and he was drenched in sweat, and we both started crying again at the sight of each other. I told him to go meet his son, but he kissed me first, and then went to get the baby from the nurse. The room cleared, and I watched as my husband fell in love for the 3^rd time with one of our children.

Kevin asked me if the baby would hold it against him that he wasn’t there. I laughed at the thought, because I knew that this incredible father was the only one who would hold himself accountable for what happened. I told him that the only thing that mattered was that he would be our son’s father for the rest of his life. And I thought about what a crazy but wonderful birth story our baby would now have.

It wasn’t until my mom and sister returned to the room that we finally called our son by his name for the first time- Chase Michael Tinsley. A perfect little miracle that was somehow meant to be, and we are now forever changed.

Itchy

To avoid the craziness that is dinner time while my husband is away, he suggested I grab something for the kids and me tonight. Not having to come home and cook sounded appealing, so I decided to take him up on it. When I picked them up, I asked Cole what he wanted and although he said a cheeseburger, my pregnancy cravings steered him to Chick-fil-a. He asked if we could eat there, and I thought sure, we can do that. No clean up at home. Keep them out of the house and out of trouble. Maybe.

They were actually pretty good while we ate, but Cole was eyeing up the indoor play area, and I knew we weren't getting out of there without at least a few minutes of climbing. That being said, I hate these things. I know hate is a strong word, but they make me feel annoyed and tense and itchy. Yes, itchy.

I braced myself as we went in and then let my kids go. Less than 30 seconds before the first kid banged into me. Actually jumped up on the bench where I was sitting and fell on me. Great. And where were her parents? Watching from right outside that little hot box and smiling. No, I'm fine, thanks for asking. Because of course, I was the only parent in there. Like usual. Of course, since half the kids appeared to be pre- adolescent, I guess they didn't need chaperones. I quickly decided that Chloe was entirely too little to be running around with all of the big kids, so I alternated holding her and pushing her towards the "toddler area" where an 8 year old was matching up the spinning animals on the wall and yelling at my 4 year old for touching them. Good times.

After no more than 15 minutes, I had had enough and told Cole we were leaving. It was a miracle that no one had plowed over either of my kids as is the norm, but it was still time to go. As we exited, I took advantage of the wet wipes and disinfected all of us. Cole loudly announced, "Yum, this smells like a shot!" No idea what that meant, but I just kept my head down. Back to the table for shoes and clean up, and Cole started playing with a vase on the table. "Is there water in this?" "Yes, don't touch it." I look down at Chloe's feet and the contents of the vase are swimming across the table. Of course. Quick clean up of the puddle and we are almost out the door.

And then the power goes out. Half the people in there are escaping their own homes that are powerless from the recent bad weather, and now these families are sitting in the dark in Chick-fil-a of all places. I pull my kids to the door and escape as quickly as I can. Cole asks, "Can we come here next time?" Sure, buddy, we'll be back really soon.

*** There are only pictures of my kids in order to protect the "innocent."

Day 1

Today starts an interesting new chapter for our family. My husband is in a new position in his company which will require him to travel more than he ever has before. I'm happy and excited for him, but I've definitely been thinking about the effect this will have on all of us, with 2 young kids and a 3^rd due to make his arrival any day now. This is how Day 1 went.

Normally, I go into work late on Mondays, but I was actually scheduled to be off today, which was really nice with the impending weather. Both kids had their share of Super Bowl fun, so after kissing Daddy goodbye around 6:30 this morning, we all slept in until 9:30! So nice for this very pregnant mom to get some extra sleep. Our plan was to eat breakfast and get ready to go out for the day- picking up a couple baby things at Target and then to NJ to meet up with my sister. I looked outside and saw that the snow had different plans for us. Yuck. The new plan was not to go stir crazy.

Being silly the camera

I made breakfast and told the kids they could eat in front of the tv today. First broken rule of the day. Chloe started off by taking food that wasn’t hers, climbing on everyone and hitting. First time out of the day. Back to breakfast, and I’m talking to Cole when Chloe knocks over her tray table, all the food on it and somehow manages to flip herself off the couch on top of the mess. First tears and injury of the day. Meanwhile, I’m hearing from Kevin that he is sitting on the runway in Philly, while I’m feeling my first Braxton Hicks of this pregnancy and praying that that’s all it is. (It was.) Oh, and Cole asks how soon until Daddy comes home. Thursday is a long way off for all of us at this point.

Hiding from Mommy

Cuddle time with their baby brother

After breakfast, Cole asks to play Madden on the Wii- his new obsession. This is an unusual day, so we’re breaking more rules, and I say yes to electronics at 10am. He plays that while Chloe occupies herself with her toys, so I take advantage of the time to check work emails. Well, neither of them like that idea because Cole feels the need to yell to me about every single play he makes, so that “good job, Buddy” becomes the only thing I say for what seems like forever, and Chloe follows me in wearing Cole’s shoes and tries to climb on my lap.

Back to the living room for more playing, followed by Chloe going down for a nap, and Mommy sorting and organizing baby clothes. The batteries in the Wii remote go, and we have a break from hearing, “I got a touchdown!” for the time being. After Chloe wakes up, we have lunch which is fairly uneventful, except that I can tell all 3 of us are already getting cabin fever. I need a plan. I look outside and the snow has slowed way down and our streets are cleared. I decide we’re making a break for it. I text and call my sister, but no answer, so I decide on Target. The kids are just excited to be going somewhere.

Highlights from our shopping trip- we use the bathroom hand dryers for wet shoes (mommy hack of the day), Cole picks an outfit for his baby brother, the kids try on hats to send pictures to Daddy, and we raid the dollar bins (where Mommy comes off like Santa without having to break the bank).

Trying on hats

My poor injured baby (looks worse in person) 

Pretending to nap in the cart

Real nap on the way home

We head home and all go down for naps. It’s after 4 by this time, so we’re breaking the late day nap rule, and I know I’ll pay for it later, but I just can’t help myself. Chloe and I get up at 5:30 and Cole not until 6. We have leftovers for dinner and my normally picky eater (Cole) scarfs down his dinner while my good eater (Chloe) refuses to eat anything until I put a cupcake on her plate with her stromboli and carrots. That and juice boxes with dinner, and we have 2 more broken rules but happy kids.

Eyeing up her dinner of stromboli, carrots & cupcake

Cole insists on a family bath after dinner, so we all hop in together and send more pictures to Daddy (I'll keep those for us), so he doesn't feel like he’s missing out. Pajamas and books, everything laid out for tomorrow, bags by the front door, and I'm feeling pretty satisfied that the night will end well. (Besides a lot of questions from Cole about when Daddy will be home and wanting to wait up for him. Sigh.) Of course, I should know better because Mommy's Law is just like Murphy’s Law and it’s now 10pm, and both kids are still awake. After an hour of trying to get Cole settled in his bed, he’s now lying in mine because Chloe won’t stop talking. I'm hoping that the separation leads to some sleep for all of us. Wishful thinking but it’s my only solution for now. Until tomorrow…

Christmas “Vacation”

Last night, as I was putting Cole to bed and he was giving me a hard time (as is his norm lately), I told him that we had a very nice Christmas vacation all together, but that he is going back to school tomorrow and has to get a good night’s sleep. He said, “Vacation? Where did we go?”

So I had to explain that a vacation doesn't always mean going somewhere, but that Mommy and Daddy were off from work and we were all home spending time together and that can be a vacation, too. And then I thought that even with Christmas and New Year’s, it was just all the simple moments that made my 12 days home with my family so great. Here are some highlights...

Hanging out on Mommy & Daddy's bed

Waiting to hear their brother's heartbeat

BFF Christmas cuddles

Listening to big brother read

Playing Madden on the Wii

Very excited to own his new favorite Christmas movie

Girl time

Painting toes for NYE

Trying out our new suitcases

Lunch date w/ Aunt Kate & Olivia

Little Doc McStuffins

"Arrr matey!"