On a Monday night in May 2006, I headed to a guy's house for a first date. He told me to look for the Christmas lights on the deck and that would be his house. Yes, in May. As I walked in, I had no idea what memories would like ahead of me within those walls. If I had known what I know now, I would have remembered every detail of what I saw that night, not just those Christmas lights.
Before I knew it, I was at the house every night and when I told my parents I was thinking of moving there, they packed me up and gave me their blessing. The living room furniture was all black and there was no food in the fridge, but suddenly, it was home. I fell in love with that guy in that house. I bought red throw pillows for the black leather couches and put food in the fridge and it became ours instead of just his.
We hosted Christmas parties and had our parents over for dinners. We spent lazy weekends watching tv and cuddling on the couch. One day we both left that house and returned a married couple. We received the most exciting news of our lives on Memorial Day 2009 in that house, and I finally got to design the nursery I'd been envisioning since high school. Months later, we brought home our first baby on a rainy January day and showed him the place he would also call home.
Somehow we blinked and had 2 more babies who we brought home to that house. We soon realized that we had outgrown our living arrangements and would need to leave the place we had grown to love so much. It was a long and tough process, but our prayers were finally answered and everything fell into place.
In just a few short hours, we will leave this house and move on to bigger and better things. But a piece of my heart will always be here. My first home away from my parents, my first as a married woman, as a mother. The first home for all 3 of my babies; though it saddens me that they won't remember it. We've been incredibly blessed here- a location we love, family walks through the neighborhood, dance parties in the living room; watching the deer from the deck, summer dinners at the picnic table, neighbors who would do anything for us. I will miss it all beyond what words can express. I've been sad and crying for weeks now at the thought of this change.
But then tonight, we went for a walk through of our new home and the pure and utter joy on our children's faces as they ran from room to room made me remember why we are doing this. Every penny we've spent, every showing we prepared for, every second that we've put into this move is so totally worth it because they are worth it; we are worth it.
So yes, I'm going to cry when we prepare to leave in the morning. I will walk through every room and for one last time, take in every detail. I'll cry as we pull away one last time. But the tears won't last long, because our dreams are just 3.5 miles away.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
Princess
A few weeks ago, I read a blog by another mother urging all moms to stop calling their daughters "princess" because of what being a princess means- spoiled, not respected for their intelligence and only meant for producing heirs. I totally agreed when I read it.
And then I realized that I do call my 3 year old daughter "princess." All the time. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with her thinking that she deserves to be treated like royalty. I'm okay with putting her on a pedestal. I'm okay with her wanting to be like the fairy tale princesses that she sees in movies. In fact, I'm good with all of that. My daughter is so young, and she has a lifetime to figure out that movies are just movies and princesses like that don't exist in real life. So why not let her feel like a princess now? She's not spoiled. She's not a brat. She's a sweet girly girl who likes to wear dresses and have her nails painted. She also loves sports and getting dirty and doesn't back down to any boy. She's brave and funny and a total free spirit and fiercely independent. I tell her all the time that she can be whatever she wants to be, whether it's a princess or a football player or President of the United States. That's the type of princess I'm raising. So I'll keep calling my daughter princess and ignore other people's cringes and judgement. Besides, if you ask her, she doesn't call herself Princess. She calls herself "a freaking beast!"
And then I realized that I do call my 3 year old daughter "princess." All the time. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with her thinking that she deserves to be treated like royalty. I'm okay with putting her on a pedestal. I'm okay with her wanting to be like the fairy tale princesses that she sees in movies. In fact, I'm good with all of that. My daughter is so young, and she has a lifetime to figure out that movies are just movies and princesses like that don't exist in real life. So why not let her feel like a princess now? She's not spoiled. She's not a brat. She's a sweet girly girl who likes to wear dresses and have her nails painted. She also loves sports and getting dirty and doesn't back down to any boy. She's brave and funny and a total free spirit and fiercely independent. I tell her all the time that she can be whatever she wants to be, whether it's a princess or a football player or President of the United States. That's the type of princess I'm raising. So I'll keep calling my daughter princess and ignore other people's cringes and judgement. Besides, if you ask her, she doesn't call herself Princess. She calls herself "a freaking beast!"
Thursday, July 9, 2015
A Different Kind of Chaos
From the time each of my babies was under 2 months old, I had to go back to work full time. It was very difficult, but what I had to do to contribute to our family and each time, having someone else care for my kids during the day became the norm. A year ago today, I lost my job after 5 1/2 years with the same company. I was devastated by what happened after giving so much time and work into one place. But what happened was a blessing in disguise when I woke up the next morning and didn't have to rush out the door, worrying about which place I was dropping the kids that day, or was it a day they were staying home with someone. Did I pack extra clothes, bottles, enough diapers? This terrible thing that had happened had, in reality, given me my dream, even if just temporarily, to be home with my kids. The first few weeks, we went to the pool and library and on play dates. I didn't want to lose out on any memory or moment because I knew it couldn't last forever. People would ask me what it was like to not be working and to be home with the kids and I said, "it's a different kind of chaos." I had to figure out new routines and schedules and a different way of life for us. I applied for jobs and went on interviews, but I didn't rush into anything because I knew time is the one thing I can never get back.
It wasn't all perfect. We had to figure things out financially as a family. We said goodbye to a daycare provider who my kids had been with since infancy. There were days that I missed my work and the people that I had seen every day for all those years, but what I found is that being home with my kids made me happier than I'd been in years.
Several months ago, I went back to work part time. I work 2 part time jobs with crazy hours and it's yet again, a different kind of chaos for our family. But I'm doing what I need to do to make our lives work. And I'm very lucky to have a husband who helps me do just that. Yes, there are days that I think about when I was working full time and swore my house would be spotless and my kids would spend all day reading and creating projects straight from Pinterest if I ever got to stay home. But then I smile at the time we are getting and smother them with kisses and feel blessed for all of our chaos.
It wasn't all perfect. We had to figure things out financially as a family. We said goodbye to a daycare provider who my kids had been with since infancy. There were days that I missed my work and the people that I had seen every day for all those years, but what I found is that being home with my kids made me happier than I'd been in years.
Several months ago, I went back to work part time. I work 2 part time jobs with crazy hours and it's yet again, a different kind of chaos for our family. But I'm doing what I need to do to make our lives work. And I'm very lucky to have a husband who helps me do just that. Yes, there are days that I think about when I was working full time and swore my house would be spotless and my kids would spend all day reading and creating projects straight from Pinterest if I ever got to stay home. But then I smile at the time we are getting and smother them with kisses and feel blessed for all of our chaos.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
The Art of 3
There are many things that I love about having 3 kids. It fills my heart to see how much they all love each other and there is always an abundance of laughter, hugs, kisses and cuddles. But there are things that I really don't like about it and running errands ranks up there pretty high.
My husband has no problem taking out all 3 kids- the zoo, food shopping, anywhere, but I avoid it like the plague. The thought of putting all 3 into car seats and taking them out, going in and out of stores, keeping them all happy and from running up and down aisles... I'm not going to lie; it stresses me out.
So last night when I realized Kevin was leaving for the gym and we had nothing for dinner, he said, why don't you run out and grab something. I froze. With all 3?! Okay, wait, these are my kids. I can handle this. This is how it went.
I got all 3 into the car. I hadn't driven my car all day and with it being 80 degrees out, there were some gripes about the heat, but we got out quickly. First stop was Wawa. Take out money, get salads and milk. Cole was in a mood right away and proceeded to walk into me and his sister repeatedly. We had a talk by the ice cream section and he straightened out quickly. But then he started asking for different things to which I kept saying no. When he came up to me with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I snapped "no" one last time. He gave me puppy dog eyes and said, "I got them for you because they are your favorite." Damn, bad mommy moment. I let them all get apple slices which is their "special treat" at Wawa. Typically parents wait for good behavior to reward with a treat at the end of running errands but I love that they choose apples and find that getting them something in the beginning makes the trip more peaceful.
Everyone back in the car. I got almost to the next store when I realized I forgot to take out money. Back to Wawa, everyone out of the car, hit the ATM, everyone back in the car. The next stop was the liquor store. I warned them not to touch a thing. I walked in, picked up the first bottle of Moscato I saw and went to pay. Cole and the clerk went back and forth about the cost of wine and then she threw lollipops in our bag.
Next door was the beer distributor where we had to get cigars for Kevin. Cole went in first and announced "2 Rockys" to the clerk. He recognized Cole and laughed, grabbed our cigars, took my money and handed us candy. (Gotta love these clerks!)
The last stop was Giant. Dinner, hot dogs, marshmallows (for the fire pit) and bananas. They were good, asked for minimal additional items, made sure I got the things we needed and we were out of there.
All 3 back in the car, belted into car seats and they ran through the list of errands with me. Done!
We survived... this time...
My husband has no problem taking out all 3 kids- the zoo, food shopping, anywhere, but I avoid it like the plague. The thought of putting all 3 into car seats and taking them out, going in and out of stores, keeping them all happy and from running up and down aisles... I'm not going to lie; it stresses me out.
So last night when I realized Kevin was leaving for the gym and we had nothing for dinner, he said, why don't you run out and grab something. I froze. With all 3?! Okay, wait, these are my kids. I can handle this. This is how it went.
I got all 3 into the car. I hadn't driven my car all day and with it being 80 degrees out, there were some gripes about the heat, but we got out quickly. First stop was Wawa. Take out money, get salads and milk. Cole was in a mood right away and proceeded to walk into me and his sister repeatedly. We had a talk by the ice cream section and he straightened out quickly. But then he started asking for different things to which I kept saying no. When he came up to me with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I snapped "no" one last time. He gave me puppy dog eyes and said, "I got them for you because they are your favorite." Damn, bad mommy moment. I let them all get apple slices which is their "special treat" at Wawa. Typically parents wait for good behavior to reward with a treat at the end of running errands but I love that they choose apples and find that getting them something in the beginning makes the trip more peaceful.
Everyone back in the car. I got almost to the next store when I realized I forgot to take out money. Back to Wawa, everyone out of the car, hit the ATM, everyone back in the car. The next stop was the liquor store. I warned them not to touch a thing. I walked in, picked up the first bottle of Moscato I saw and went to pay. Cole and the clerk went back and forth about the cost of wine and then she threw lollipops in our bag.
Next door was the beer distributor where we had to get cigars for Kevin. Cole went in first and announced "2 Rockys" to the clerk. He recognized Cole and laughed, grabbed our cigars, took my money and handed us candy. (Gotta love these clerks!)
The last stop was Giant. Dinner, hot dogs, marshmallows (for the fire pit) and bananas. They were good, asked for minimal additional items, made sure I got the things we needed and we were out of there.
All 3 back in the car, belted into car seats and they ran through the list of errands with me. Done!
We survived... this time...
Friday, January 30, 2015
A Month of Kindness
I've been terrible about writing lately, so this is coming a little late, but I wanted to share it. I had posted a picture a couple months ago of an Act of Kindness Advent Calendar that Cole and I were going to complete in the weeks leading up to Christmas. It was quite an adventure for us, and we found that some tasks were definitely easier to complete than others. With Cole in school 3 days a week, we sometimes had to play catch up with our items on other days and once Christmas week came, it was tough to get much done. However, we managed to complete almost every act on the list. The biggest thrill for me was that every morning Cole woke up and (after finding his elf, of course) he would ask me, "What nice thing are we going to do today?" I realized that this is a kid who already loved being kind and doing things for others, and every time I watched him completing an act of kindness and how excited and happy it made him, it made all the running around more than worth it. Below is a list of what we did:
1. Let someone go in front of you in line- we were at the library and someone got to the counter at the same time, so Cole didn't try to race in front of them. That was big for him!
2. Donate hats & mittens to a homeless shelter- we bought them and held them for a later date (see below).
3. Write your teacher a thank you note- this was one of my favorites. Cole wrote a note thanking his teacher for being allowed to bring a book into school. She was teaching the class about kindness, so Cole's note was hung up on the Kindness board in his classroom!
4. Tape coins to a vending machine for the next person to use- the Salvation Army guy didn't seem to understand why we weren't putting the money in his bucket. Oh, well. Hope someone enjoyed their soda!
5. Buy a new book for a child in need- I let Cole pick a book and then we saw a Toys for Tots box, but he asked if he could read it in the car before giving it away. I felt bad, so I let him. When we went to drop it off later, he really had a hard time letting go, but he knew it was going to a kid who needed it.
6. Send a holiday card to a service man or woman- thanks to my FB friends, we found 6 people to send cards to. I wrote a note explaining what we were doing and Cole signed his name. I hope they got there and were appreciated!
7. Set the dinner table for your family- we were at my mom's, so Gram let Cole help serve his cousins.
8. Give a water bottle & snack to a homeless person- this would have been really tough without going into the city, so we bought stuff and put it into our stash for the later trip to a shelter.
9. Make a bookmark for someone at school- another one of my favs, Cole chose to make a bookmark for his best friend Mason. They were both very excited about it!
10. Donate a coloring book & crayons to hospital ER- the admissions desk seemed very genuinely surprised which was really nice for something that only cost us a few dollars. They said they were going to take them up to pediatrics which was even better.
11. Gather up shopping carts in the parking lot- this one was hilarious as my little 4 year old pushed shopping carts across the lot and waved off the guys whose job it actually is were trying to help him.
12. Go through old clothes and toys & give to shelter- most of their toys are in storage, but we found some clothes to give away. I took all 3 kids with the clothes along with the food and hat & gloves to a shelter in Chester. A little bit scary getting in, but the people inside were very appreciative, and the kids loved doing it!
13. Call a relative and tell them "I love you"- it was tough to get someone on the phone at first, but then Cole ended up talking to 3 of his cousins and it was so sweet!
14. Do someone else's chore today- Cole chose to do Mommy's chore because he said I do the most, so he helped with the laundry.
15. Leave a treat in the mailbox for the mail carrier- hope he enjoyed our cookies!
16. Donate old towels & sheets to the local pet shelter- this was hard because we didn't have any to give, so we improvised and bought some dog toys which Cole got to pick. It was really fun (and a little nerve wracking) to take both Cole and Chloe to drop off the toys and see the animals. The dogs were a little too loud for them, but they loved the cats!
17. Buy a new toy & donate to Toys for Tots- if we do this in the future, I'll have to remember that pick up for these boxes is right around this date, so you can't find a box if you wait too long. We ended up giving them to a teacher friend who was doing a day of giving with her students.
18. Buy a hot cocoa for a Salvation Army bell ringer- it was so cute to see Cole hand over that cup, and the ringer was definitely surprised.
19. Bring in your neighbor's trash can- we only use bags on our street, but our one neighbor uses a bin for his recycling, so Cole brought that up to his door.
20. Hold the door for someone- Cole held the door for everyone this day!
21. Bring flowers to someone in a nursing home- this is one we just didn't get to do... maybe next year!
22. Tape microwave popcorn to a Red Box- I thought this one was fun, but we should have waited to see who got it, because it was gone by the time we did our food shopping!
23. Donate used books to the library or dr's office- we tried to do this but the library said our books were too old and the dr's office doesn't take them, so they went to Goodwill.
24. Give someone a hug today- it was Christmas Eve, so Cole gave lots of hugs that day!
1. Let someone go in front of you in line- we were at the library and someone got to the counter at the same time, so Cole didn't try to race in front of them. That was big for him!
2. Donate hats & mittens to a homeless shelter- we bought them and held them for a later date (see below).
3. Write your teacher a thank you note- this was one of my favorites. Cole wrote a note thanking his teacher for being allowed to bring a book into school. She was teaching the class about kindness, so Cole's note was hung up on the Kindness board in his classroom!
4. Tape coins to a vending machine for the next person to use- the Salvation Army guy didn't seem to understand why we weren't putting the money in his bucket. Oh, well. Hope someone enjoyed their soda!
5. Buy a new book for a child in need- I let Cole pick a book and then we saw a Toys for Tots box, but he asked if he could read it in the car before giving it away. I felt bad, so I let him. When we went to drop it off later, he really had a hard time letting go, but he knew it was going to a kid who needed it.
6. Send a holiday card to a service man or woman- thanks to my FB friends, we found 6 people to send cards to. I wrote a note explaining what we were doing and Cole signed his name. I hope they got there and were appreciated!
7. Set the dinner table for your family- we were at my mom's, so Gram let Cole help serve his cousins.
8. Give a water bottle & snack to a homeless person- this would have been really tough without going into the city, so we bought stuff and put it into our stash for the later trip to a shelter.
9. Make a bookmark for someone at school- another one of my favs, Cole chose to make a bookmark for his best friend Mason. They were both very excited about it!
10. Donate a coloring book & crayons to hospital ER- the admissions desk seemed very genuinely surprised which was really nice for something that only cost us a few dollars. They said they were going to take them up to pediatrics which was even better.
11. Gather up shopping carts in the parking lot- this one was hilarious as my little 4 year old pushed shopping carts across the lot and waved off the guys whose job it actually is were trying to help him.
12. Go through old clothes and toys & give to shelter- most of their toys are in storage, but we found some clothes to give away. I took all 3 kids with the clothes along with the food and hat & gloves to a shelter in Chester. A little bit scary getting in, but the people inside were very appreciative, and the kids loved doing it!
13. Call a relative and tell them "I love you"- it was tough to get someone on the phone at first, but then Cole ended up talking to 3 of his cousins and it was so sweet!
14. Do someone else's chore today- Cole chose to do Mommy's chore because he said I do the most, so he helped with the laundry.
15. Leave a treat in the mailbox for the mail carrier- hope he enjoyed our cookies!
16. Donate old towels & sheets to the local pet shelter- this was hard because we didn't have any to give, so we improvised and bought some dog toys which Cole got to pick. It was really fun (and a little nerve wracking) to take both Cole and Chloe to drop off the toys and see the animals. The dogs were a little too loud for them, but they loved the cats!
17. Buy a new toy & donate to Toys for Tots- if we do this in the future, I'll have to remember that pick up for these boxes is right around this date, so you can't find a box if you wait too long. We ended up giving them to a teacher friend who was doing a day of giving with her students.
18. Buy a hot cocoa for a Salvation Army bell ringer- it was so cute to see Cole hand over that cup, and the ringer was definitely surprised.
19. Bring in your neighbor's trash can- we only use bags on our street, but our one neighbor uses a bin for his recycling, so Cole brought that up to his door.
20. Hold the door for someone- Cole held the door for everyone this day!
21. Bring flowers to someone in a nursing home- this is one we just didn't get to do... maybe next year!
22. Tape microwave popcorn to a Red Box- I thought this one was fun, but we should have waited to see who got it, because it was gone by the time we did our food shopping!
23. Donate used books to the library or dr's office- we tried to do this but the library said our books were too old and the dr's office doesn't take them, so they went to Goodwill.
24. Give someone a hug today- it was Christmas Eve, so Cole gave lots of hugs that day!
| Pushing the carts at Giant |
| Checking out the dogs at the shelter |
 |
| Giving his sister one of many hugs on Christmas Eve |
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