Things new for being 2

I didn’t think that it would be that big of a transition for Cole to go from being a 1 year old to a 2 year old. I was wrong. Granted, it isn’t as though these changes came overnight, but in the weeks leading up to turning 2, I have noticed that my baby is quickly turning into a little boy and there are plenty of changes (both good and bad) that go along with that.

1. The attitude. Of course I had heard of the terrible twos, but I didn’t know how it would be possible for my sweet, agreeable son to suddenly become “terrible” just because he was turning 2. But it has happened. For the most part, he is still a good kid. But he has learned how to talk back and he can get pretty feisty.  His favorite word is no, and he likes to throw hot dogs at me (among other things).
2. Mommy’s boy. Up until now, Cole has been somewhat of a Daddy’s boy. I don’t question his love or affection for me, but it was obvious who he favored. But for some reason in the past few weeks, it’s Mommy this and Mommy that, and I’ve been getting a lot more love. No complaints from me, of course. I figured it had something to do with his sense of the pregnancy. Found out from the doctor that 2 is the Oedipal age. No comment on that one.
3. Potty? This one started right after Christmas. Cole started asking to go to the potty. At first, I was really excited. I never thought that he would be ready to potty train this early. Then I realized that he was only asking after he had already gone in his diaper. Not so exciting. We are trying not to discourage him. So far, I am sticking to that. We’ll see how long it lasts.
4. Mr. Independent. Suddenly, Cole doesn’t want/need my help with anything. Time to put on his shoes. He says, “I do it.” Can Mommy carry you downstairs? No, I do it. Next thing I know, he’ll be getting his license and driving off to college. Where he’ll probably want to carry his own books to class.

Belly Love

For months, I was careful not to mention anything about being pregnant on Facebook or in any of my blogs, but now that the news is out, I am happy to finally talk about it.

As excited as I am to become a mom again, the thing that gets me even more excited is for Cole to be a big brother. People ask me if we’ve told him about the baby, and I laugh, because he knew before anyone else, including Kevin. It was Friday, October 21^st, and I just had that feeling that I might be pregnant, so I picked up Cole from daycare and went straight to the pharmacy. Within 15 minutes of being home, the results were in! I wish that I knew what Cole was thinking as I cried and shared the exciting news with him. He looked a little scared and worried, but I reassured him that Mommy was crying happy tears. I immediately racked my brain for the best way to tell Kevin, but I knew that I had to wait until he got home to do it in person. (He was with me when we found out we were pregnant the first time.) I sat Cole down, and told him that we were going to make a picture for Daddy. After guiding/forcing his hand to write the words, “I am going to be a big brother,” he seemed happy to scribble across the paper, not knowing how important his “drawing” was.

Then we waited. Kevin wouldn’t be home for a little while, and I was going crazy just sitting there. I must have called him three times on the way home, anxious for his arrival. When he walked in the door, he had a bottle of wine in his hand for us to have with dinner. (There’s irony for you.) I ushered Cole to the top of the steps with his picture held out for Daddy. Kevin’s face was priceless. It was pure shock and disbelief. Known for not being able to keep a secret, he said that we had to run right over to NJ to tell our parents. I hesitated for just a minute, and then off we went with Cole’s sign in hand. Needless to say, everyone was thrilled about our news.

I am not so naïve as to think that Cole really gets what is going on being not even 2 years old, but he acts as if he completely understands. He is happy to point out where Mommy’s baby is and gives kisses to my expanding belly. Of course, we have to be careful about where we are when he does this, because he doesn’t know that it’s not okay to lift my shirt in public. He says hi to the baby, tells him or her, “I love you” and even wished his little brother or sister a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I’m sure when the baby gets here, that it will be more real for him, and I know that he will be a great big brother, but for now, I’m enjoying every moment of his belly talk and kisses.

Angel vs. Devil

I think we all know what it’s like to have that internal conflict of good vs. evil when it comes to decision making. Do I eat that 2^nd piece of cake? Should I buy those expensive shoes? If I really dislike my coworker, do I still have to be nice to her? I always figured that this started at an older age, but my son is not quite 2, and I swear that I can look at him and see an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

Cole seems to know right from wrong and yet, sometimes, he still chooses to do the thing that ultimately leads to getting in trouble, aka time out. He is normally a really sweet kid, but I can see in his eyes when he is going to do something bad. A couple nights ago, he gave me one of his million dollar smiles… right before swinging and hitting me in the leg. Over the weekend, I gave him some Teddy Grahams in a bowl, and after a few minutes of sitting quietly on the couch, eating them and watching TV, he was all too excited to run over and get me, saying “Look!” Yup, Teddy Grahams spilled on the couch. He did the same thing today with his cereal. Yeah, Mommy is really proud of the masterpiece that is your breakfast on the floor.

It leads me to wonder if he knows the difference, why does he still choose wrong? I guess it’s the same reason adults do. It’s fun. It’s thrilling. We want to see what we can get away with. That being said, sometimes I just want to flick that little devil right off his shoulder.

Accidents Happen

As I said when I started this blog a few months ago, the purpose of this is to chronicle my son’s many little life moments and help me remember things that I will inevitably forget as he gets older. But once in awhile, something else compels me to write. This is one of those times.

As many of you may or may not know, I was in a car accident on October 25^th. It was scary, my car ended up being totaled, but I was lucky to be okay (relatively speaking). Since then I have been dealing with the hassles of insurance companies and finding a new (used) car. Unfortunately, this was not my first accident (or even my first totaled car), but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. After our car accident last summer and then Kevin’s in February (none of which were our fault), I figured I have had more than my fair share.

Then last Saturday came. I was on my way to a baby shower with my mom, sister, sister-in-law and nieces when we were rear ended by a tractor trailer. Like I said, any car accident is a scary thing. Being hit on a highway by a tractor trailer is even scarier. But having my nieces in the car was, well, an entirely different situation.

I remember turning around to see their little faces, filled with fear, not fully grasping what just happened. The time after that went by as a blur as we waited 45 minutes (yes, 45) for the police to show up. When my brother came, we moved the kids to his car, wanting to get them away from the smashed up car, filled with glass. As I carried Marleigh, my 3 year old niece, to the other car, she said to me, “if that boy comes over here, I’m going to tell him to stop bumping cars.” I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.

After what seemed like hours of waiting, we were back on the road, and Noli, my 4 year old niece, was seated in the back seat, with her head turned around. She told us all that she was going to watch to make sure that no one else hit us. That one definitely didn’t induce laughter.

For us as adults, we understand that as horrible as they are, accidents happen. No one wants to deal with them, but we do and we move on. For these kids, there is no explanation. How can they comprehend why someone would do something like that, hitting our car?

I don’t know how long they will remember this. Or how long they will talk about it. Or be scared to get into the car. I hope it’s not for long. And I don’t know if there is any lesson here. I wish there was. But sometimes it just helps to write about it.

Conversation with a toddler

Someone made an observation to me over the weekend about how we can’t wait for our kids to learn how to do things and then as soon as they start, we wonder why we were so anxious for it. (He put it much more eloquently than that.) Last night as Cole and I drove home together, I definitely got this feeling.

Kevin was running for re-election to the school board, so he had Cole with him at the polls shaking hands and kissing babies all day. It was great to hear from everyone there about how good he was all day. But since he is talking more and more every day, I thought that I would try to get Cole's take. Here is how our conversation went.

Me: Did you have a good day?

Cole: No

Me: Were you a good boy?

Cole: Boy

Me: Yes, boy. Were you a good boy?

Cole: No

Me: Did you have fun?

Cole: No

Me: Did you see Mom Mom and Pop Pop?

Cole: Pop Pop

Me: What about Mom Mom?

Cole: No

Me: Did you shake hands and kiss babies?

Cole: No

(This is when I was just trying to get him to say something different.)

Me: Is your name Cole?

Cole: No

Me: Do you want to go home?

Cole: No

Me: Do you love me?

Cole: No

Me: Can you say anything other than no?

Cole: No

At that point, I gave up. I guess we’ll save the “how was your day” conversation until he is a little older. Or until he stops loving the word no.

Funny Stuff

I love the sense of humor of children. My 3 year old niece has recently discovered a new joke.

“Where do cows go on a first date?”

“Where?”

“To the mooooovies!”

She cracks up every time she tells it. Well, Cole is definitely starting to develop his own sense of humor, and I find it thoroughly entertaining. He makes faces at me, blows raspberries and laughs at everything.  He has always been a typical boy, but he has even started to appreciate “bathroom humor” as burping in my face always produces the giggles.  I think his favorite is to tell me no after everything I say and then laugh. (Not Mommy’s favorite.) His new thing (that I think he picked up from my niece) is that he laughs with his hand over his mouth, as if trying to hold it in. (This one I do love.) I just wonder how they learn humor. Sure, sometimes I think he hears people around him laugh, and I know that my laughing tends to egg him on, but there are other times that I just don’t know where the humor comes from. I mean, who told him that passing gas deserves a chuckle?

One of his jokes last week- riding home with his hat covering his eyes and looking around

Big Cousin

So many things amaze me about children in general, but more specifically about my own son. (Naturally.) Most recently, I was struck by his sense of instinct and compassion.

My sister-in-law and brother were blessed with a beautiful baby girl a couple weeks ago, so Cole is now a big cousin. I was curious to see how he would be around someone smaller than him. There are a couple of kids younger than him at day care, so this wouldn’t be his first experience with a baby, but I don’t usually get to witness his reaction. I know he is a good kid, but he can get a little hyper and rambunctious, so I knew that I had to be on alert.

As we arrived at the hospital, I tried to prepare him for what we were doing. I told him about his new baby cousin and how she is little and we have to be nice around her. I’m sure that he didn’t really understand much of what I was saying, but it made me feel good to set the standard.

We went up to the room and waited for the baby to be brought in from the nursery. I don’t know what my nieces Noli and Marleigh (4 and 3) were thinking when they saw her, as they seemed a little hesitant, but Cole got very excited. He shouted, “Baby!” over and over again and smiled and giggled and tried to get near her.

Again, I was a little worried that he would get too excited, leap out of my arms, and jump on top of this tiny newborn. So I held on tight and let him look from afar. But eventually we had to put him down and he ventured over to check out his new cousin. He instantly calmed down. He was still excited, but he didn’t shout or jump around. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her little face and he stroked her gently. It was as if Cole knew how small and fragile she was, and he reacted just right. I think he would have kissed and hugged and touched his new cousin all night if we had let him. We could all learn a thing from my 1 year old’s instinct and compassion.  

Going in for a kiss